Vince Foster:
The Case for Suicide
by Zack Nguyen

The official story:

At about 1:00 p.m. on July 20, 1993, Vince Foster left his office for the last time.

He told his secretary that there were some M@M's left in his office if she wanted some. Then, taking his White House pager, he said he was leaving for lunch. He left the White House and, after giving a Secret Service officer a friendly smile and a "Hello", approached his car in the parking lot. The gun that would figure so prominently in Vince Foster's immediate future was perhaps hidden on his person; if that is the case then he merely had to smuggle it into the White House past several metal detectors and Secret Service agents. Perhaps it was left in his car; if that was the case it would have had to survive the once-over by an ammunition sniffing dog (the new FBI director was being sworn in that day, and all the cars in the parking lot were checked). Perhaps Foster drove home to obtain this gun, actually an illegal weapon fashioned from two guns, one of which was 80 years old.

Then Foster drove to some unidentified location and rolled around on a carpet for a while. (Carpet fibers were later found all over his clothing)

Then, suddenly seized with the desire to visit an obscure weed infested park on the other side of town to end his life, he leaves his car and walks down the traffic-ensnarled George Washington expressway (no one noticed him)

Ft. Marcy park is not even listed on Virginia maps. It has no jogging or bicycle trails. Gay lovers often meet there, and the CIA sometimes practices dead-drops there in the early morning hours. Foster surveys the scene, and then either sprouts wings and flies to his intended location, or perhaps skirts the ground like a ballet dancer. However he did it, Foster managed to walk 700 feet across grass and dirt without getting any soil on his shoes.

According to his family he had never visited Ft. Marcy before, but navigated it's paths like a seasoned veteran, finding the tricky and narrow walkway to one of the Civil War cannon. From there he has a beautiful view of the barbed wire surrounding the park and the ambassador to Saudi Arabia's residence in the distance.

Then, sitting down in weeds that come almost to his face, on a slope of rocks and grass, ignoring the mesquitos that were out in full force on the hot July day, attempts to shoot himself in the side of the neck. Finding that this does not seem to do the trick, he jams his thumb into the trigger guard, wraps his fingers around the barrel, stuffs it so far down his throat that he very nearly swallows the gun, and somehow manages to pull the trigger.

The sharp report of the .38 caliber revolver fell on deaf ears - no one in the surrounding area heard anything. Foster's teeth and mouth remained miraculously undamaged, while an astoundingly small amount of gunpowder residue was found in his mouth. The bullet disappeared. Foster's heart stopped instantly - almost no blood was found on the ground or on his body.

This happened sometime before 4:00 P.M. Around 4:30 P.M., witness Patrick Knowlton entered the Park, and has stated repeatedly under extreme pressure that Fosters grey-blue Honda was not in the parking lot of Ft. Marcy. So have witnesses Josie and Duncan, two adulteress lovers that ventured into the park on a tryst.

At this point, Vince Foster comes back to life, remembering that he has forgotten his car. He walks to wherever he parked it, but is forced to hotwire it, because his car keys have mysteriously disappeared (they were not found until Foster's body was safely in the morgue). He then drives back to Ft. Marcy, parks his car, and resumes his position on the grassy slope, being careful to lay his body out perfectly straight and flat.

He then throws the gun away. Confidential Witness 1 discovers the body, notes the lack of a gun, and leaves to phone the authorities. Foster gets up, retrieves the gun, and resumes his position.

The authorities arrive, taking pictures of the body that are all immediately lost or "over-exposed" in the FBI labs. Chelsea Clinton's nanny, Helen Dickey, is informed of the death within the hour, but somehow the White House is not officially informed until 8:30 P.M. Around 8:50 P.M., someone walks into the President's room while his make-up is being applied for "Larry King Live" and explains to him that something was found in Vince Foster's office. The President, however, is apparently not informed of the death until 10:00 P.M.

For the ruling of suicide to be accurate, the farce that I just described above would have to have taken place. The evidence that has accumulated over the last four years doesn't come close to matching the official explanation of Vince Foster's death.

How do we account for these descrepancies?

Even though special prosecutors have concluded suicide, and even though we've seen many Vince Foster stories on the front pages--and more often the back pages--of America's major newspapers, should we feel this case has been sufficiently scrutinized?

Hopefully, the American public will soon demand a more serious, well-publicized inspection of this incredible case.

*Editor's Note:

For many, the treatment given to the Vince Foster case in any given publication (especially Internet publications) is used as a litmus test for determining whether that publication is slanted from the Left or from the Right. The Coffee Shop Times tries its best to provide commentary and news from all points on the political spectrum. After all, a coffee house's atmosphere isn't worth much if limits are put on the discussion within its walls.

But since it is very hard to find anything on the Vince Foster case outside of Rightest media sources(many of which have given readers no reason to trust their credibility), we thought we would provide a brief excerpt from a New York Times Book Review's review of "The Strange Death of Vincent Foster" by Christopher Ruddy. This book was reviewed for the NY Times by historian Richard Brookhiser.

Political journalists don't like the Foster story because it is not
the kind of thing they are trained to cover. Political journalism
is a combination of policy wonkery and new journalism;
its practitioners write about ideology and personality,
not crime scenes and grand juries. If they don't like the fact that
the story has been taken over by crusaders like Ruddy,
they have only themselves to blame for ceding it.

Yes, the term "crusaders" here is meant to imply that Ruddy has an agenda--or at least that his employer, The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, has an agenda. We would agree with this.

However, as Brookhiser goes on to say, there is a story here worth covering.

The above material from our Zack Nguyen is presented to our readers as commentary.

By providing this space for Mr. Nguyen, The Coffee Shop Times is simply endorsing the idea that the Vince Foster story has indeed been "ceded" and is worth taking back.

And it's definitely worth discussing while downing a peanut butter-espresso milk shake with friends at any local coffee shop.

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