Top 10 Ideas for Seinfeld Spin-offs

Posted by Douglas Barricklow on October 1, 1997

10. Working title: “High Maintenance”

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, as Elaine, hooks up romantically with Rob Morrow (Northern Exposure) who has just taken a job in New Orleans as General Manager of a P.R. firm.

Samuel L. Jackson, an accomplished jazz composer who is living very well off of royalties, lives next door but doesn’t cuss nearly as much as in his movie roles.

Elaine takes a job as Anne Rice’s New Orleans-based publicist but constantly suffers from the heebie-jeebies when in the company of Ms. Rice.

num99. Working title: “Jews in Georgia”

George lands a great job with the Atlanta Braves organization with the aid of a forged letter of recommendation from George Steinbrenner, but is unable to get out of New York before getting roped into letting his parents move into his spacious, suburban Atlanta home.

Randy Quaid, reviving a Cousin Eddie-like role, lives next door and becomes a fast friend to George’s father, Frank Castanza.

8. Working title: “The Barbara Walters’ Special: Jerry-Mandered”

Knowing a truly “human” story when she see’s one, Barbara Walters embarks on an extraordinary three-hour look at the multitudes of above-average looking women who played Jerry’s dates and love interests during Seinfeld’s nine-year run.

Barbara uncovers behind-the-scenes footage of Jerry Seinfeld’s neglect and sometimes openly-displayed contempt towards these “remarkable” actresses who have often found themselves “blacklisted” in the industry after refusing to give Mr. Seinfeld sex during down time on the set.

“For some of these courageous young women,” concludes Ms. Walters, “Only occasional jobs as extras in MTV rap videos can now be found. It’s so very, very sad, Hugh… .”

num77. Working title: “Cliffy and Newman”

Cheers’ Cliff Claven and Seinfeld’s Newman both accept cushy transfers to Jackson Hole, Wyoming where they plan to spend their remaining days delivering the mail on that town’s beautiful streets.

Matters are complicated though when they arrive in Jackson Hole to discover their new boss is a non-conformist postal professional played by Dennis Miller.

6. Addition to “Mad About You”

Kramer simply moves in next door to Paul and Jamie. Actually, ground has already been laid for this intermingling of the two shows’ characters since before moving in with Jamie, Paul actually lived in what is now Kramer’s aparment across the hall from Jerry . This was revealed in one of the first ever episodes of “Mad About You.”

num55. Working title: “Media Elites”

Jerry Seinfeld lures CNN’s Wolf Blitzer and The NewsHour’s David Gergen away from television news and smoothly places them alongside himself as dapper sitcom D.C. correspondents.

With that patented Seinfeld touch, he whips the two former newsmen into comedic shape as they chase politicians, women and adult beverages throughout the interior of Washington’s Beltway.

4. Guest Appearance: “ER”

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards and Jason Alexander all accept large sums of money to play annoyingly overly-talkative patients on NBC’s other hit series, ER. Louis-Dreyfus is treated for teen pregnancy. Jason Alexander, who is only seeking treatment for seasonal affective disorder, wakes up in the recovery room to discover that both pinky fingers and both little toes have been amputated by the moody and often misunderstood Dr. Doug Ross. Michael Richards is treated for Hong Kong bird flu.

3. Working title: “Triumph of the Soup”

A Spike Lee Joint made possible by a grant from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, this black and white, Leni Reifenstahl-esque romanticization of the Soup Nazi and his noble experiment in late-20th century restaurant entrepreneurialism earns a place in PBS television history alongside Ken Burns’ Civil War, Carl Sagan’s Cosmos and Justin Wilson’s Cajun Cookin’.

num22. Working title: “Seinfeld: The Movie”

This long-awaited and much-anticipated reunion of the former cast of Seinfeld unceremoniously flops at the box office when Leanardo DiCaprio doesn’t live up to expectations in the role of Kramer.

The role had been left vacant when Michael Richards decided he just couldn’t justify spending the time away from his duties as head coach of the Dallas Cowboys.

1. Working title: “Still The Cosby Show”

Jerry Seinfeld again works television magic by taking on the role of Cliff Huxtable as played throughout the 1980’s by Bill Cosby. All the old cast members return (except Mr. Cosby of course) for a never-before-attempted second run at television success by a previously retired show.

Even though he’s not black, and bears absolutely no familial resemblance to Theo, Mr. Seinfeld makes this sitcom reincarnation work because he’s just That Damn Good.