| What's That Smell? by NHARS BENDIR Thursday September 24, 1998 No, not the smell of low behavior by a U.S. President. The smell I'm talking about is elsewhere in Washington. Take Ken Starr's referral to Congress. This thing stinks. After "four years and $40 million" of our money, what do we get? Proof of a married man's affair with another woman at work, and how the man lied about it repeatedly to absolutely everyone. For $40 million I could get you absolute proof that Yeltsin and Thatcher were buck-naked doing the nasty on the pitcher's mound at Comiskey Park during the third game of the World Series in a snowstorm on the 4th of July. Hell, for $40 million I'll even throw in Osama bin Laden's head on a stick. |
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Remembering that Starr had essentially no constraints on what or whom he could investigate or how much it cost, why is there nothing in his report to Congress on Whitewater, Filegate, Travelgate or Chinagate? Maybe I missed a meeting, but if the "vast right-wing conspiracy" that Hillary warned us about is truly behind all this, their competence kind of stinks, too, doesn't it? As for impeaching the President or censuring him or whatever it is the politicians are scheming at the moment, let's make sure we understand what this is about. It's all about Republican impotence. Clinton's sexual problem is medical; the GOP's is not. Here's an example. Clinton had nothing to do with the current economic boom. The GOP knows this and so does everyone with an IQ above lettuce. Voters' IQ is not that high. The Republicans don't know that but Clinton does. So Clinton claims credit for the economy, the Republicans don't bother to challenge him on it and the voters believe Clinton. This makes him virtually invulnerable to political defeat because "It's [still] the economy, stupid." So the one issue traditionally most dear to the GOP -- the economy -- has been lost to, of all people, this dufus-looking baby-boomer Rhodes scholar pretender from Arkansas. And while the Republicans hold the House. That stinks, big-time. What about the Lewinsky affair? Clinton was a fool to get involved with yet another woman and he was wrong to lie about it, although affairs cannot exist without lies. Nevertheless, these are not impeachable offenses. Let's say he committed perjury. That's still not good enough to impeach. Let's say he even suborned perjury. Not good enough. Obstruction of justice? Nope. The power to remove a President may be the most awesome in the Constitution because it is the power to undo the vote of the people. Clinton may be a liar and an adulterer but he is the President, duly elected by the people not once, but twice. Ford's definition of impeachment notwithstanding, Congress will not remove this President without a damned good reason, and for all the documents and videotapes and transcripts Starr has provided, that damned good reason just ain't there. And that stinks. I disagree with the slack-jawed man-on-the-street types who "are tired of hearing about it." I do believe that it's time to raise the windows and air out this place. America has business to attend to, not the least of which is the fall lettuce crop. |
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